This week I have been doing a lot of editing for both my Honors Thesis and the production of my stage play. As the actors get more comfortable with the material there are certain beats and rhythms that occur, and the script is evolving to accommodate and more effectively deliver those moments. One of the things that I am finding as I edit the play is what is called throat-clearing. It is where the writer gives a preamble to what is going to occur, or has a character unnecessarily repeat the same thought.

Throat clearing is a natural occurrence of first drafts, especially for a writer like me that doesn’t rely very much on outlines. Throat clearing is a way of thinking about what you want to write. So, someone might write, “I didn’t know it was going to as bad a morning as it turned out to be.” In a first draft, that is probably the writer contemplating that she wants to write about an unfortunate event that happened in the morning, and on the second or third pass she might clean it up a little or eliminate it. The line isn’t bad, really, but we as writers need to be aware of what every line—every word, really—is doing in our story. The above line takes all suspense out of what will logically follow it: a recounting of the bad morning. In addition, it is unnecessary because in general no one knows their morning is going to be bad until it happens. The reason this particular obstacle to effective writing is called throat clearing is because it is a preamble. It is a signal of a writer who is either not quite ready to tell the story. It is the writer explaining the story and not writing it.

Throat clearing is a symptom of timidity because it signals the writer is insecure about the quality of either her idea or her writing. Writers must tread a fine line between retaining suspense and not giving too much of the story away too soon and providing enough detail and information to keep the reader informed and engaged. Throat clearing occurs when the writer is unsure if the point has been made. So, she reinforces it by either preamble or repetition. It can be off putting to a seasoned reader because they feel like the writer doesn’t trust their intelligence and has to hand hold them through the intricacies of the plot.

Throat clearing occurs most often in exposition. It falls under the category of showing and not telling Sometimes it manifests and both showing and telling. When you are editing, the signs to look for are phrases that are describing an action that is to come and telling the reader how to feel about it. The example phrase tells us that we should pity the narrator, but the writer hasn’t earned that pity yet. Again, a seasoned reader does not want to be told what to feel. Readers want to experience the story and make their own judgments.

Ahem. That’s all I have to say about that.