Dear Reader,

            Last week in one of my classes we read a chapter on “Being Present” in our work, and coincidentally I also saw a similar phrase on some inspirational quote online that took the saying a step further stating “To truly be present with someone is the best present you can give”.    Did you peep the play on words there?  Keep that in mind.  Now, sitting back and thinking of how much meaning is actually packed in those few words I interpret them to say that the time we spend on the things that important to us and the time that we dedicate to those we love matters when we are present in the moment, when we don’t hold back from our now.  Caring is most definitely sharing… ourselves in the form of presence.  And a lack of presence, I suspect, could do much harm to the quality of our work, and create distance and pain between loved ones. 

            As we go about our daily lives full of “to-do” lists; taking care of our responsibilities, meeting deadlines, scheduling appointments, picking up and dropping off the laundry, oh and the kids (this is one of the reasons we need to-do lists) we find our energy depleted, our focus fogging up and our minds unable to concentrate on the next task at hand due to the incessant overstimulation we put our noggins through.  Somehow, we have convinced ourselves that we are better people the more tasks we take on and complete.  Somehow, we gage our value with the productivity of getting it all done and hoping for some quality along the way.  Many moms often suffer from this most terrible illness… maybe it isn’t an illness, but it should be.  An example of this is how in our fight to be counted and included as valued members of society we have continue our “traditional” work and take on so much more, disregarding our own needs and limitations.  Yes, we have limitation… after all, the days only have 24 hours and there is only so long we can go without proper nutrition before getting sick.  Not to mention that we are not good at everything, and that is ok.  The stress of trying to keep up with our unrealistic expectations of ourselves is preventing us from being present. 

We are not machines; we must rest our bodies and our minds in order to function well and be productive.  However, rest is only half of the battle.  It is important to find joy in our daily lives and allow our minds to process our thoughts.  Even if taking a few minutes to wonder a bit from time to time about that trip we have always wanted to go on or how nice that pair of boots would look on us.  Setting some time aside for meditation, getting our hair and nails done, reading a good book, or binge watch our favorite shows can be real game changers.  We often notice that when we take time to “self-care” our moods brighten, our creativity begins to flow again, and the overall health of our bodies improves.   We need to understand and accept that it isn’t selfish to care for ourselves the way we care about others and that setting limits is a good way to start.  It is healthy to find the balance between our responsibilities and our needs and wants, whatever those may be.  So, go on that walk, take that fitness class, cuddle your cat, listen to the music, sit out on the porch and admire nature, call that friend, whatever you do take time for yourself, for it is then that we can be focused in our work, it is then that we can be present in the lives of those we care for the most and create the memories that we will leave behind.  Let’s be mindful of our actions and make a conscious decision to be present, now!

 Ps. chocolate, ice cream, a bowl of pasta, a big NYC BLT… those help too!