One of the more difficult parts about writing when inspired, is to not soil the inspiration. When I feel inspired, I don’t look at it as some personal path or agency, I look at it as me uncovering a reality of the universe that makes sense and fits into the world I’m trying to figure out, may it be the world of an intimate relationship or the world of fulfillment, or some world where the two meet, or some world where the two are unconsidered. 

It might sound strange, to consider that my inspiration isn’t personal to me, and that’s because that isn’t quite the right way of looking at it. My inspirations are personal to my universe and existence as a subject of the universe as a whole. However, my inspirations are simply rich connections that I have to the universe at large, and those connections normally feel quite pure and engaging, for some significant reason. I suggest to myself, that they are significant because they speak for much and make me feel more correct in my path moving forward.

Naturally, when I feel those connections strengthening and filling me, I want to be able to capture and share it, because otherwise, I fear that it will be lost forever, even though that connection will always be inside me, no matter how vague or lost. I’d just have to be able to respark it again, but even if I do, the freshness of that connection could possibly not be as significant of a muse as it was previously, which does lead me to motivation when I make those connections. So, when motivated by these connections, I feel as if I must capture them via my expressions, and as I am not a painter, or a musician, but a writer, I try to do this via words. The issue I’m about to discuss isn’t solely a word issue, but rather a larger human issue, which I believe stems from our personal identity and culture. 

When I try to capture these inspirations, I sometimes find my words to be not as significant as the muse itself, or I simply find myself pathing along in a different direction, because of my own limitations of being incapable of staying true to the authentic truth that I feel is being unraveled. I label this a personal identity or culture issue, because we limit ourselves based upon our expectations and ideals, which stem from our experience as our own special slice of existence, within this humanly dictated society we’ve built and are saturated in. At times, we focus too much on how to make sense of something in terms of expectations or acceptance, rather than sticking true to the reality, the honesty of the moment. I certainly have this problem too, and often find myself embarrassed to express the truth that I observe within myself. This is due to expectations and the culture of the people around me, as well as my trauma’s which stem from my surroundings. 

In conclusion, it can be quite difficult to be honest with the inspiration moving through you and capturing it without falling victim to soiling it through our trauma’s and expectations. In my experience, I’ve simply sharpened my skills to be able to improve and capture significance and to understand when I’m doing more harm than good, in my documentations. Expanding my vocabulary has helped me better this, as well as other avenues through which I have broadened my horizons and experiences.