Mental Health Mondays: Breathing in the New Normal

If things were “normal” I would probably be on campus right now, but that’s the old normal and now we’re here.

For about a month now, I’ve been in quarantine alongside millions of others around the world. You and I are not anomalies in all of this, but boy, it really can feel like it. The loneliness of being away from friends and family or the suffocating trap of being stuck at home with your family can be a lot to handle. Whatever your situation may be, it’s definitely affecting you in some way. For most it has been a negative experience. Boredom. Depression. Lethargy. A loss of hope for the return of what was. You might have asked yourself “Is it going to ever get better?” “Will it always be this way?” “Is this my new normal?” Maybe, but a sentiment that I would like for you to hold onto during this difficult time to keep you afloat: You are not alone.

I would say from my limited experience and knowledge of having talked to several different therapists, doctors, and psychiatrists, since I was seventeen, while also having taken three psychology college courses, feeling depressed is not uncommon. Neither is the feeling of being anxious about all that is going on around us. 47% of all adults in the U.S. experience a psychological disorder, while 20% experience major depression and 28% are affected by anxiety disorders.* To put that into perspective, that’s almost half of the U.S. population experiencing psychological disorders, for every 5 people you see one is likely to have major depression, and for every 3 people you see one is likely to have an anxiety disorder. Out of the 300 million that’s a lot of people who are struggling out there. It’s all kind of overwhelming to think about.

So, what do I do to try to get a grasp of some sanity? Meditative breathing. I sit on the floor, get as comfortable as possible while sitting, and close my eyes, then:

Breathe in for 1…2…3…4…5…6. Hold for 1…2…3…4…5…6…7…8. Breathe out. Repeat.

I find that listening to relaxing music (for me this is psychedelic, lo-fi, and bedroom pop, which I would recommend) with headphones definitely helps immerse me into this activity even better. I try to start each of my days with this. Surprisingly, it does help me! You might be thinking this is bogus and maybe you even tried it and it didn’t work for you, but just to speak my peace on the topic I want to talk about two words: mindfulness and introspection.

During this time, when a simple walk outside on a sunny, breezy day is illegal without a mask and social distancing, we tend to get trapped in cycles. I’m guilty of this. For the first few weeks of quarantine, I was sleeping multiple times a day, eating more than I needed to, and avoiding things that needed to get done. I neglected basic hygiene and neglected my body, mind, and fighting spirit in return. I knew this couldn’t go on. This wasn’t right, but I needed a small step. That was the arrival of mindfulness. I made the executive decision to try my best to make a change and implemented a short meditation and sometimes a stretch every morning. This really made a difference in how much energy I had and also how I overall felt. I felt my burdens were light and my problems manageable.

Oftentimes at night or even throughout the day, I get a stream of negative thoughts that really pull me down. The meditation helped me regulate that. For 5 minutes I had peace. Peace of body, mind, and spirit. I did not have to think much at all. I could listen to music and get lost in my breaths and float into a state of relaxation. This for me was a state of introspection. I was able to calm my thoughts and instead of controlling them like reigning a horse, I simply let them settle like bubbles in a soda before they burst through the bottle of my mind. I guess this is debatably the lack of introspection, but I like to think of this as spiritual introspection, where you target a neutral, free space within and settle there.

I hope my breathing trick helps you out during this time. There is a science to it, but besides the chemical and physical benefits, I like to highlight the mental benefits, which is pushing forward and valuing the time you spend with yourself and your mind. Your mind is precious and you must treat it with care and something as simple as oxygen can be the water to its garden.

Keep on breathing, kittens

*Abnormal Psychology, 3rd Edition by Deborah C. Beidel, Cynthia M. Bulik , Melinda A. Stanley

Thomas Benke: Looking Around In Bird by Bird, Anne Lamott, in the Chapter “Looking Around,” says this: Now, if you ask me, what’s going on is that we’re all up to here in it, and probably the most important thing is that we not yell at one another. Otherwise we’d all just be barking away like Pekingese: “Ah! Stuck in the shit! And it’s your fault, you did this …” Writing involves seeing people suffer and, as Robert Stone once put it, finding some meaning therein. But you can’t do that if you’re not respectful. If you look at people and just see sloppy clothes or rich clothes, you’re going to get them wrong. She goes on to speak about empathy for other people and also, as an extension empathy for yourself. So, in a sense as you try to write believable, relatable characters, you will come to forgive people their trespasses—because no one believes they are the villain of their story, so you have to write “bad,” or “evil” characters from a point of view where they rationalize what they are doing in such a way that it is the right or only way they see is possible. By extrapolation, then, if you begin to forgive and withhold judgment from your less-than-desirable, or annoying characters, perhaps you can extend the same courtesy to yourself and forgive your own trespasses and sins. This, for me, starts to enter the realm of “writing as therapy,” and though I am a firm believer in that—I practice it to this very day—I think I would caution anyone who thinks that simply writing through things is going to lead you to a place of light and love. I am not saying it can’t by any means. What I am saying is I have wrote through my thoughts and my problems and my desperation and depression for decades and I still had enough baggage on my shoulders to supply an army platoon with rations for a year. In any case, when thinking about craft, it is very important to step into the shoes of all of your characters, especially those characters that you see as antagonists and villians. I believe there are very few universal maxims in writing but one thing is virtually certain: every character you write is your version of that human being. Confucius said “everywhere I go, there I am,” and that is never more true than when you are writing. So if you are writing a character that is distasteful to you, it might be effective for you to ask yourself why that is the case. I wrote a blog for Obscura last semester titled, “The Puppy Had It Coming.” The gist of the article was to pose a puzzle to writers. How can you write a scene where an adult human kicks a puppy across the room and the reader at least understands why. I am not saying there is any way to justify the action or for the readers to be on the human’s side unless they are sociopaths. I am saying you need let the reader know how dark the place is in the character’s mind that he is capable of doing that.

Mental Health Mondays: Breathing in the New Normal

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