Dear journal, 

i’ve been tired 

back&shoulders ache     towards the left side     of my back. 

feels like someone’s been punching     that same spot     for 4 years     &the.chest.feels.heavy.

hey siri, how do i move on? 

i’m sorry, i’ll try harder, she says

bury my face in my march lover’s 

hairy chest right after being intimate

i wipe my own tears 

i wish he’d wipe them for me every once in a while& 

he can barely hold me right

at night

should’ve emailed him my list before coming over:

hold me tight

but 

not too tight

i like kisses 

on the forehead

the reaaal sloooow ones 

that make me feel safe

i like it when my lovers say 

i got you

i find myself wanting more 

of his attention 

but he already made it clear

the first time we ever spoke 

i hate clingy girls

if he’d let me,

i’d write him letters full of promises

i’d hurt for him until i can’t anymore

i’d write him a poem every thursday because that’s his favorite day of the week 

i’d dance to the rhythm of his sweet snoring at night even if i never sleep again

i’d make him his favorite breakfast

baconegg&cheese on saturdaymornings

peanutbutter&jelly on sundaymornings

Signed,

the march lover’s lover

______________________________________________________

As I’ve gotten older, I’ve realized how important journaling is. I’ve kept a journal since I was 7 years old and the birth of my love for writing poetry stemmed from there. I love reading texts that are written in the form of journal entries, so I figured this would be a great type of poem to try for this week. 

In this entire poem, there are only two words that are capitalized which are “Dear” and “Signed”. These words begin and end my poem, so I intended to keep that consistent. When I write about a situation that’s been going on for so long yet hasn’t managed to move forward at all, I notice I begin to feel small and powerless. The situation feels much bigger than I am, and it makes me feel like I’ve lost control. This is the reason why used “i” and did not capitalize “march lover” either. This was my way of emphasizing how the situation is so much bigger than me and that person. The extra-long spaces in the beginning are included to allow the reader to understand the intensity of the pain I feel. I say, “march lover” because the person I wrote about was born in March, so that’s “his month” and the title of this poem is, “Entry 0315” because that is the birthday.

I make the size of the list of things I like my lovers to do smaller than the other stanzas because the list is rarely important to the “march lover”, only his is. I also minimize the size of the line, “the march lover’s lover” because I feel that my role in that person’s life is not very important and they rarely bother to introduce me as what we are when we are not in private. I increased the size of the line, “i hate clingy girls” to convey just how much he hates what I truly am. I highlight how clingy I am with the list of things I would do for him if he’d let me be that. I chose to begin each line of the list with “i’d…” and formed the last two lines similarly because I find they look appealing to the eye. I hope you all enjoy reading this!

Yours truly,

Isha S. Serrano 

The Winds Sentiments